Having collected Trade Paperbacks, one of the cool things is that they provide you as a bonus sometimes is commentary by the artists and writers, breakdowns, and you can see how the script became the finished product. If you ever want to learn how to write a comic book, those little bonus features are awesome. If you are reading Death of Wolverine, reading how Charles Soule writes that comic is a great blueprint to how to write your own. At the back of the comic, you can read his script with the breakdowns of the art and get a feel of how the panels are thought up, word bubbles, descriptions, etc. Being a huge fan of Batman, being influenced highly by the current run, and having already written film scripts, a play, and a short story, I thought I would take a stab at writing a comic book story about Batman.
Now, the thing about writing (at least to me) is that if you are going to write a story, write it like it is the only thing you would ever write. When I was writing my Batman story, I was always thinking "If I was going to write one Batman story, this would be it!" There are literally thousands of issues of Batman in the last 75 years, how is the story I want to tell stand out to that? How can I make it something that's my own thing? There are tons of villains that have been written by many great writers, how can you put your own stamp on The Joker for instance, since that character is just so iconic and has been a villain so many times? So I decided to not focus on Batman fighting some major super villain. I wanted to focus on an aspect of Batman as a superhero that has never really been touched upon. All these times that he's been beating up muggers and stopping basic criminals (the kind that the comics only dedicate a couple panels to), what happens to them, how does that encounter with Batman effect their lives, the lives of their families, what happens once they get out?
So before I keep talking, here is the Batman story I wrote if I could only write one Batman story. Please feel free to provide comments, feedback, let me know if it's good and you liked it, or if it was so bad it just totally ruined 75 years of Batman for you.
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Page 1.
1.1
ESTABLISHING SHOT of a boy looking through a crack of his
bedroom door; This boy’s name is JAMES FELL approx. 10 years old average
looking kid. His room is somewhat slumlike. There is a desk, some posters, old
toys, however lacking extra things that a kid his age might have: A computer, a
TV, posters. This is a profile shot, with the light from the crack of his
bedroom door illuminating his face.
JAMES CAPTION: “When I was a boy, I remember my father
stopping a man who just stole an old lady’s purse….
1.2
CLOSER PROFILE IMAGE of JAMES face, with the crack of light
showing his expression: he is visibly scared.
JAMES CAPTION: He didn’t have to, but later that night when
I asked him why he did that, he sat me down and told me: ‘Because it was the
right thing to do.’…”
1.3
CLOSE UP reveal a grown up JAMES, now in his mid 20’s. He is
looking out a window (The framing is the
same as 1.2)
1.4
FULL SHOT LOOKING DOWN TO THE BANK (ie. SECURITY CAMERA
ANGLE) revealing James holding a bank hostage. James has a pistol in his hand. The bank
tellers and customers are on the ground. His pistol pointed at a group of them.
Some of the girls there are crying. The
bank is not one of the most glamorous ones in Gotham, but a simple, one story
bank. Christmas ornaments are scattered around the building.
JAMES CAPTION: “I‘ve always wondered… if my parents were
still alive, if he didn’t take them from me, how different my life would have
been?”
Page 2.
2.1
ESTABLISHING SHOT OF THE OUTSIDE OF THE BANK. From outside
the bank you can see JAMES looking through the window. The street is full with
police cars, officers with weapons drawn, and a crowd behind police lines,
watching the situation. It is early December, a light snow is on the ground.
2.2
LEUTENANT BULLOCK is staring at the bank. BULLOCK is wearing
his trademark hat, but has a scarf around him. His cold breathe can be seen.
GORDON (outside of panel): What are we looking at?
2.3
COMMISSIONER GORDON arrives on scene, talking to BULLOCK.
BULLOCK: “About a dozen hostages, one gunman. We haven’t
gotten the perps name yet. SWAT is 10 minutes away, snipers are setting up on
the roofs behind us. No demands yet. The guy’s not even hiding his face. He
just keeps looking out at us.
2.4
Small close up of GORDON looking down to the ground.
GORDON: I hate this part of the job.
2.5
GORDON picks up a megaphone.
GORDON (TO THE BANK):
“This is Commissioner Gordon…”
PAGE 3
3.1
INSIDE THE BANK, JAMES is looking out the windows, seeing
the police cars. The hostages are behind him.
GORDON (FROM THE STREET): “Let the hostages go…”
JAMES CAPTION “One of my earliest memories was going to the
movies with my parents. Every Saturday I would beg them to take me.”
3.2
JAMES looks back at one of the female hostages.
JAMES CAPTION: “We would walk there, it was only a few
blocks away from where we lived. We would sometimes take a shortcut through the
alleys if we were in a hurry. I was never scared.”
3.3
From the street, GORDON and BULLOCK are behind cars. BULLOCK has a Walkie Talkie.
BULLOCK: SWAT team’s arrived.
3.4
OUTUSIDE, the front door of the bank burst open: A female hostage
is pushed out by JAMES.
3.5
Small - BULLOCK looks at the hostage
BULLOCK: “Grab her! Get her out of the way!”
3.6
Two members of a SWAT team grab the hostage.
PAGE 4
4.1
GORDON goes to the HOSTAGE, who is sitting down near a
police car while she is examined.
GORDON: “Are you alright?”
HOSTAGE: “I’m fine. He said…he didn’t want to hurt us. He
told me to…to give you this.”
4.2
Small – The hostage gives Gordon a note.
4.3
GORDON opens the note, revealing the text: BRING THE BATMAN
AND THE HOSTAGES GO FREE
4.4 From the crowd at the street watching, BRUCE WAYNE is
there, looking like a normal face in the crowd.
4.5
Small – BRUCE sees the note GORDON is reading.
PAGE 5
5.1
Inside the bank, JAMES is walking around the hostages. JAMES
looks nervous, but prepared. The hostages look frightened, bundled together.
5.2
A hostage from the previous panel, whom JAMES walked past (a
man in his early 20’s), stares at the exit sign near the back of the bank when
JAMES is not looking.
JAMES CAPTION: “Since their death, I couldn’t get his face
out of my mind. He was responsible, he killed them…
5.3.
JAMES is looking out of the window again. The hostage is
behind him, noticing that JAMES is not looking at him.
5.4
The hostage begins to run for the exit.
5.5
Small close up - JAMES notices the hostage running.
5.6
JAMES points his pistol at the hostage.
JAMES: STOP!
PAGE 6
6.1
Close up to JAMES face, hesitant.
6.2.
JAMES POV as the hostage is almost at the door. The pistol
pointed right at him.
6.3
Small close up at his finger inching closer to pulling the
trigger.
6.4
Close up to JAMES face, realizing he will have to shoot.
JAMES CAPTION: I just wanted to see HIM.
PAGE 7 –(7.1 - 7.3 are small shots overlaid near the top of
BATMAN’s reveal in 7.4. Panel 7.5 would be near the bottom quarter of the
page).
7.1
Small - Gas fills the room.
7.2
Small - Close up of JAMES coughing, unable to see anything.
7.3
Small - Tight close up on JAMES eyes, realizing whose in
front of him.
7.4
JAMES POV seeing the BATMAN through the smoke. (*The reveal
of BATMAN should take up ¾ of the page, and be epic; BATMAN should embody a look of how
JAMES sees him, larger than life, cloaked in his cape, almost like a gothic
silhouette. Between PAGE 7 and PAGE 15, the image of BATMAN should slowly be
less imposing, more normal looking as JAMES slowly learns the truth)
JAMES CAPTION: THE BATMAN
7.5
Close up of BATMAN’s face.
JAMES CAPTIONED: “I’ve seen that face a thousand times,
every time I close my eyes. That face has haunted me for years.”
PAGE 8
8.1
From outside the BANK, the front door bursts open, smoke
coming out of it. BULLOCK and GORDON stare at the doors. The hostages run out
of the doors.
8.2
GORDON grabs a megaphone.
GORDON (INTO MEGAPHONE, TO POLICE): “Hold your fire!”
8.3
JAMES stares at BATMAN, pistol drawn at him.
JAMES: “It’s you…after all these years…
8.4
CLOSE UP OF JAMES
JAMES: You have no idea who I am do you? You have no clue of
the pain you’ve caused me? The life you stole from me. Look at my face, do you
even know who I am?!”
PAGE 9
9.1
Close up of Batman, unmoving.
9.2
Same image a 8.2.
BATMAN: “JAMES FELL.”
9.3
Close up of JAMES, in shock, staring at BATMAN.
9.4
Large shot of BATMAN, this time a little closer to JAMES.
BATMAN: “You’re father was Roger Fell. He robbed the First
National Bank 15 years ago. I stopped him. “
JAMES: You…remember him?
BATMAN: “He went to prison for three years. Two months after he was released it was reported
he shot his wife before turning the gun on himself.”
PAGE 10
10.1
JAMES is staring at BATMAN, his expression full of intensity
and anger.
JAMES: “My father... was a good man. He was a banker.”
10.2
Medium shot of BATMAN, standing in front of JAMES. BATMAN is
slowly looking less threatening.
BATMAN: “He was, until the depression hit the city. He was
laid off, became friends with a bad crowd who used what he knew to rob banks. “
10.3
A closer shot of JAMES, looking a little defeated at this
truth, more angry though, in denial.
JAMES: “My father wasn’t a criminal! He was a good man!
10.4
Two shot of JAMES and BATMAN, behind JAMES. BATMAN is closer
to James.
BATMAN: “He hid the truth from you and your mother. Once he
went to prison, your mother moved into the Narrows with you.”
10.5
Small Close up to JAMES face.
JAMES: “Stay back!”
PAGE 11
11.1
FLASHBACK to a full shot of JAMES as a child again, in bed,
sleeping. Loud bangs are heard from outside his room.
11.2
Close up – JAMES mother bursts into his room.
JAMES MOTHER: “James!”
11.3
JAMES MOTHER tucks him in tight, the banging is heard louder
from outside his door.
JAMES MOTHER: “Whatever you do, stay in your room okay?
Don’t come out.”
JAMES: “What’s going on mom?”
JAMES MOTHER: “Please baby, just stay in your bed, don’t
make a sound. “
11.4
JAMES MOTHER is out of the room, there is a noise of the
front door bursting open. JAMES gets out of the bed, looking at the door of
his bedroom.
BATMAN CAPTION: “Your mother divorced him after finding out
what he did. Once he got out of jail, he found you two. “
Page 12:
12.1
Close up of JAMES looking through the crack of the door,
visibly scared. This is the same shot as 1.2
BATMAN CAPTION: “The
neighbors reported there was a loud argument…
12.2
Close up of JAMES looking through the crack of the door,
this time his face is in shock. A tear goes down his cheek.
BATMAN CAPTION: “…then a shot was fired. He was screaming
after, crying….”
JAMES (silently): …Mommy?
12.3
Close up of BATMAN at the bank.
BATMAN: …Then he turned the gun on himself. You were 10
years old at the time.
12.4
JAMES has the pistol 5 feet from BATMAN’s head.
JAMES: It’s your fault! You killed them! You’re the one who
caught my father, who drove my mother to leave him. You’re the one who…who…
PAGE 13
13.1
FLASHBACK – MEDIUM SHOT of JAMES in his bedroom, sitting in
a corner, his legs up to his chest and head down, crying. A police officer comes in the door.
BATMAN CAPTION: The police found you in your room, crying.
You never said a word to them. The doctors didn’t understand.
13.2
It is months later, JAMES is sitting in a room of an
orphanage, drawing.
BATMAN CAPTIONED: You
were sent to St. Francis Home for Children. For months you didn’t say a word,
until one day…
13.3
CLOSE UP of JAMES drawing.
VOICE FROM BEHIND JAMES: James? James Fell?
13.4
The voice is revealed to be BRUCE WAYNE, ten years younger
than he looks in 4.5. This is BRUCE WAYNE in the early years of being BATMAN.
This shot should take up 2/3rd of the page at least. The angle is
from JAMES POV, BRUCE looks larger than life.
BATMAN CAPTION: …another orphan came to see you.
Page 14:
The full page is a montage of images of BRUCE taking JAMES
out for the day: Walking the city streets of Gotham; BRUCE buying JAMES a hot
dog at a vendor; going to a baseball game; in a toy shop where JAMES picks out a
toy.
PAGE 15
15.1
BRUCE is walking with JAMES back to the Children’s home. JAMES
stops BRUCE
15.2
SMALL SHOT of JAMES looking down.
15.3.
SMALL SHOT of JAMES looking back up at BRUCE, a tear is in
his eye.
JAMES: Thank you.
15.4
JAMES hugs BRUCE, crying.
15.5
BATMAN is standing right next to JAMES, at the bank. The pistol still aimed at his head.
JAMES: How…how did you know?
BATMAN: I remember every criminal I’ve caught. All of them. Every day, I have to live with what they do when they
get out of prison.
PAGE 16
16.1
Close up on BATMAN
BATMAN: Sometimes it’s not easy knowing which ones will
still be criminals, or what they will do after they get out. You’re right, it was my fault.
16.2
BATMAN puts his head right up to the pistol.
16.3
CLOSE UP of JAMES reaction of shock.
16.4
CLOSE UP of the pistol at BATMAN’s head.
BATMAN: I know the anger you’re feeling. How badly you want
revenge. All your life, the one thing that keeps you going is getting vengeance
on who took your family away from you. It won’t help though; deep down that
anger will never leave you.
16.5
JAMES focuses his pistol to BATMAN’s head, his expression
full of rage and anger. JAMES finally
has the chance to do what he has imagined for years.
16.6-.16.7 (Both small, next to each other)
JAMES expression turns from anger to sadness.
PAGE 17
17.1
JAMES lowers the pistol.
JAMES: “Oh God…”
17.2
JAMES collapses to the floor.
JAMES: “What have I done?”
17.3
BATMAN holds him as JAMES cries. THIS SHOT SHOULD ECHO THE
ONE FROM 14.3.
17.4
JAMES looks up at BATMAN.
JAMES: “I’m sorry”
17.5
INSIDE THE BANK, BATMAN looks on as BULLOCK takes JAMES out
of the BANK in handcuffs. BATMAN looks at JAMES walking out. GORDON is talking
to an officer.
BATMAN CAPTION: “No one should know what that anger feels
like. Only those who have experienced it know what it does to someone.”
16.6
Close up of BATMAN looking at GORDON.
BATMAN (TO GORDON): “Commissioner?”
Page 17
14.1
6 MONTHS LATER…
JAMES is stepping out of a taxi, in front of him is a
building, the taxi blocking most of the building, including the sign.
14.2
CLOSE UP OF JAMES staring at the building.
VOICE FROM BEHIND JAMES: James?
14.3
The voice is revealed to be BRUCE WAYNE.
BRUCE: I’m glad you came.
14.4
JAMES shakes BRUCE’s hand.
JAMES: Thank you for giving me this opportunity.
BRUCE: “Commissioner Gordon told me what happened at the
bank. Batman told him what you went through. The commissioner and myself talked
to the judge on your behalf; instead of going to jail, you can serve your
sentence here.
14.5
BRUCE and JAMES stare at the sign of the building: ST.
FRANCIS HOME FOR CHILDREN.
BRUCE: “To help others like us. Give those children part of
their lives back.”
14.6
JAMES looks at the children playing. He is smiling.
JAMES CAPTION “When I was a boy, I remember my father
stopping a man who just stole an old lady’s purse. He didn’t have to, but later
that night when I asked him why he did that, he sat me down and told me:
‘Because it was the right thing to do.’…”
THE END
